It may be easy to misinterpret the intention behind my wanting to share intimate images of dying, death, and grief. So let me be clear. I do not share these images to titillate, sensationalize, or create emotional disturbance in companions sharing this path. I DO want to show that there is tremendous opportunity contained in the experience of loss.
Death, although brutally shocking, also contains beauty, humor, and love. For me it holds the reigning title of greatest teacher for offering lessons about life, love and what IS truly important beyond material possessions, which do not bind us to this life.
In the brief sixteen year life of my beloved Bellevue Sea Blossom Molly, she has brought me many gifts: the importance of sharing a good snack, fun, silliness, adventure, moment to moment presence, shameless unrestrained emotion, and relishing one’s true nature. She has shared all this and more, with devotion, love, forgiveness, compassion, and true playful beagle spirit.
Her devotion to mom was epic. I believe she waited for her to go, then two more weeks, to make sure I was ok, and for the return of her beloved veterinarian – Dr. Indu Mani of the Natick Animal Clinic, from a much needed vacation.
Even in the final day of her life, she brought joy and comfort to those who knew her. She had steak tips for dinner, took a walk around the block with her BFF Thunder, ate tons of dog cookies, and enjoyed a party with neighbors and friends to honor her life. In the last hour she morphed from an old tired, panting, sick, pain riddled dog back into a puppy. When she refused her favorite treat, it was a sure sign that all the agonizing about the decision to let her go before organ failure and more pain, was absolutely the right one at exactly the perfect moment.
And still she gave one final gift. She spent the ten seconds remaining in her sweet and precious life tucking her head into my tummy, and I will carry forever the feeling of her there against me, under my heart. It was as if her spirit which had carried her body simply slipped out, allowing her shell to slide gently to the floor.
Indu Mani, who has been with us for several years now on this journey, was the only vet Molly ever trusted and truly loved. I couldn’t imagine Molly leaving without her. The kindness of her spirit, and gentleness of her healer nature truly made the experience, which I had been dreading for 16+ years, bearable.
It has been over two years since Molly was able to come along for adventures in the woods, which she loved. It is wonderful to imagine she will be running ahead of me on the trail at Ashland State Park tomorrow. She is my beloved forever dog, and will always be so.
This multi layered cake was baked to deep golden perfection and allowed to cool on the sill. With magnificent elegance it has been frosted in beauty. I offer it to all – may you partake of it’s sweetness, or place it under your pillows to dream the healing that it offers. In the belief of all that is possible and good in the world.